From Hanoi- a few quick Maria comments

We've been in Hanoi since Tuesday afternoon. Before I forgot these, I wanted to write and share two quick Maria quotes with you all.

First, on Wednesday we saw the Water Puppets at Than Long Theather. In the introduction to the performance, they announced that the troupe had performed in Spain, France, Germany, and the United States. Maria turned to Mark and said, "How do they know where we have already gone?" As always, it's all about her!

A few minutes ago, we were looking for a quick snack before mass. We have a plate of fresh fruit here in our hotel room. I tried the longans for the first time and told the girls, "You should taste these. This is something we would never be able to eat back home." Maria pointed to the basket of M&M's, Pringles, potato chips, and Oreos. "We should eat that. You'd never let us eat that back home either."

A Thai Education

I thought that some of our teacher friends might be interested to see the worksheets we have found for the kids here in Thailand. We bought a bunch of preschool workbooks to keep them busy when we are on the plane or waiting for a meal at a restaurant. Some of them are pretty much like the ones we get in the US. However, here are a few examples of some of the local knowledge needed for the Thai worksheets.

How many of you knew what animal eats sugar cane? But the girls were quick to point out that elephants and monkeys both eat bananas.

Noticing which is first, second, and last when it comes to the candle and incense offerings.

This was the hard one. We really had to pause and figure out what some of these fruits even were. The hardest one was the mangosteen (third down). The outside looks very different from how you would expect the fruit inside to look.

Yesterday, I was walking through the Wat right behind our apartment. I saw a wealthy couple who had a private guide. He was telling them the history of the place and explaining some of the Wat's elements. I wished I was able to listen into the conversation- it's a pity that we've been here 2 months and don't understand a lot about the building we see from our balcony and walk through every day.

We may not have learned about the history or the architecture of the Wat but we have learned how the trees change with the season. We have learned that when the monks chant late at night there is a funeral. When the tables go up in the front selling all sorts of stuff, we know to expect the bus loads of Thai tourists. We have learned which dogs are lazy and ignore you as you make your way across the grounds. And, we have learned which dog to avoid because he is mean and likes to pick fights with the other dogs and with people. Maybe the guide and the couple could have learned something from me too before the dog started to growl at them. Such is the benefit of local knowledge!

Shoes

For those of you who read this and haven't yet been to Thailand, I thought you might be interested in a little cultural tidbit- shoes! Here feet and thus shoes are considered to be the ugliest, dirtiest part of the body. It is extremely important that while crossing your legs you don't point the bottom of your foot at someone. That would be a show of disrespect. (Actually, I don't think I've ever seen the Thais cross their legs- so I guess that might be an added precaution.) In the Wats (Buddhist sacred buildings) one should be careful to never point their feet at a statue of a Buddha or a monk. So, people tend to kneel or sit with their legs to the side of them. We've also been warned against pointing at something with our foot although I can't really think of why you would use your leg to point at something or somewhere instead of your hand. Anyway, like I said, shoes are also considered to be extremely dirty. Like in many other Asian countries they are to be removed upon entering a house. I have seen a look of horror come over our housekeeper's face when she caught the girls wearing their shoes more than 4 feet from the door. We have a no shoe rule in our house, and I used to think we were really careful about it, but now I realize in comparison we are pretty laid back about shoes. Restaurants, stores, and spas all are likely to have a no shoe rule too. In fact, usually the girls will ask if we can eat at a restaurant where we have to take off our shoes. Maria has some sensory processing disorder issues and usually can't stand to wear shoes. In the States we are constantly asking her to put them on- at restaurants, at the gym, at Target, etc. She has loved the freedom of no shoes here and I'm sure we will have a heck of a time getting her to wear shoes when we go back home. PS- The picture above was actually taken by Maria! She's become quite good with her little camera.

Just a little more about Sarnelli House...

I do want to just mention a few things about Sarnelli House itself. First, like I had said, Sarnelli House was started as a place for little ones who have AIDS to die, and those who had been orphaned by AIDS to have a home. I was caught off guard on Sunday to stumble across the graveyard that is connected to the orphanage. One of the tombstones was for a child who had lived for only one day. There were other gravestones for kids who were 4, 6, and 7 years-old.

While there, we heard the story of a 7-year-old girl named Cookie. She has AIDS and was living with her family. The family was too ashamed of the disease to get her the medical help she needed. So, Cookie ran away from home and to Sarnelli House. She walked 40 kilometers by herself to the house. She was not going to give up on herself the way her family did. Now, her family understands the importance of her medical treatment and has consented to her living at Sarnelli.

Maria taking a picture of Boy Lek. This is the little one who attached himself to Mark. What a bundle of energy! I think Maria finally met her match!

All of those living at Sarnelli House have not had an easy life so far. There are many who have been relinquished by their parents because of drug use, poverty, or abuse. Six of the girls have been raped. I'm sure that all of the children must have psychological as well as physical needs that would overwhelm most adults. Yet, what is remarkable is that this is a place of hope! We were surprised at how matter of fact Father Mike talked about all of this with us. But, it was also a sign of his ability to look past these horrors and focus on the future of the kids!

While there, I recalled the story in the bible of the blind man. The crowd asks Jesus if he is blind because of his sins or the sins of his parents. Jesus doesn't answer them and instead heals the man. He addresses the need and goes to the core of the person's suffering and anguish. With a disease like AIDS, it is easy to ask if the sins of the parents or perhaps (but not likely) the child is to blame. Sarnelli House echoes Jesus with an attitude of love and healing. It's not about the disease, the sin, the evil. It's about the human and about the love that God has for all of us.

If you'd like to learn more about the Sarnelli House and Father Mike Shea's work, here is their website: http://sarnelliorphanage.jigsy.com/

Dtong

Those of you who have been to our house may remember that our refrigerator had about 5 pictures on it. There weren't any of Maria or Teresa, rather, they are all of Dtong. It is a wonderful reminder for us to pray for her every day. After 5 years, it really felt surreal to have this same child stand in front of us. How frustrating to not be able to communicate better! After the mass, we headed out to go shopping with Dtong. She was allowed to bring along two friends. So, we were joined by two beautiful young ladies named Mai and Pham. All three girls were so sweet and they seems generally glad to have an opportunity to get away from some of the younger kids at Sarnelli as they frequently are stuck in the big sister role there. However, they were very happy to lavish Maria and Teresa with attention. We first went to Tesco Lotus- a large shopping place. It's kind of like Walmart and a shopping mall all in the same building. First we went to Swensen's for ice cream! Although they all knew very little English and we know next to no Thai, ice cream proved to be a nice ice breaker.

After that, we walked around and got a few items for Dtong and for all of the girls who live in her house. There are 30 girls who live in her house. We quickly saw that Dtong had been very astute in who she had brought along. She is an extremely shy girl but Mai and Pham had no qualms about pointing out items to us with the English phrase, "Dtong like". Along with some items that Dtong liked, we bought food and movies for all of the girls. Then, we headed off to the Nong Khai market. Unfortunately, Maria and Teresa didn't last too long on our shopping trip and we had to cut it short so that they could take some naps. In their defense though, it was a long day! Sunday, we went back to Sarnelli House and were really able to see the place for the first time. All of the children were gathered together because a local radio station had brought lunch and entertaining deejays for the kids. The girls enjoyed playing on the playground and spending time playing with Dtong and the other kids.

After lunch, we were taken on a tour of a few of the buildings. We were able to see Our Lady of Refugee home where Dtong lives. There was a large living area, a large kitchen, and even a wonderful outdoor sala for homework, or fun. All of the girls have chores and must pitch in to make the place run smoothly. They are each responsible for helping to cook dinner one night a week, washing their clothes, etc. We were surprised that there was only 2 staff members there during the day and 1 sister who sleeps there in the nights with the girls. Here's a picture of the girls bedroom.

We also visited the school where Dtong attends. It was surprising to find a beautiful Catholic school right on the MeKong River. The playground and general upkeep of the school seemed so much nicer than Catholic schools at home. It was hardly what we expected. All too soon, it was time to go to the airport. Dtong and Pham went with us. It was hard having them see us off. It was hard that with the lack of translators, we couldn't have some good conversations with her. In the letters we've exchanged over the past five years, and while being there, we know that Dtong thinks of us as her family. We too think of her as another daughter of ours. While her living conditions are better than we had expected - Fr Mike, Kate, and the Sarnelli staff are amazing people - it's frustrating that we can't do more for her than sending a monthly check to pay for her school and living expenses, and exchange the occasional letter. In all likelihood we won't see Dtong again. It's something that we have a hard time reconciling. Maria especially had a hard time saying goodbye. On the flight back to Chiang Mai she told me, "When I get big, I'm going to go back and see Dtong." Earlier in the week (before visiting Dtong) Maria told us that she was planning to come back to Thailand when she gets big, but she said she is not sure if she wants us to join her... In any case, this trip has impacted both of the kids and us in countless ways, many of which we probably don't yet realize or appreciate. Seeing Dtong was definitely a moment that we won't forget!

Mass with Bishop Phimphisan

Saturday was the first day that we had planned on being with Dtong. Father Mike Shea had told us that there would be a special mass held at the local parish because the bishop was making his yearly visit. We weren't expecting it to be such an elaborate affair! We arrived after traveling through bumpy, washed-out roads. There, at the gates to the church property was an entire welcoming committee. The committee included girls dressed in beautiful traditional Thai clothing, children from the orphanage dressed in their best clothes, and members of the parish.

When we got out of the van we were greeted by the girls who came to pin flowers on all of us. They temporarily distracted us from Father Mike who was approaching us with his arm around Dtong. She seemed as nervous as we were to meet and there was awkward silence as none of us knew quite what to say or even the language skills needed to say it. Maria was eager to hand Dtong the present we had brought her. After awhile Dtong excused herself to go practice with the choir. We walked around for a few minutes just taking pictures and smiling at people. One of the little boys came over and right away wanted to play with Mark. He looked to be close to Maria's age. Later, during the mass, he would come back and sit with us- making it extra hard to keep our own two girls focused on the liturgy instead of playing around with him. It was obvious though that he was in need of love and attention. Maria even whispered to me,"He doesn't have a family, so I think he's pretending he's in ours." Before long, music started to signal that something was ready to begin. The dancers lined up and started to process doing a Thai dance. Following them were little kids- both girls and boys who threw flower petals on the floor. Dancing with them, were two older women who we weren't sure if they were officially part of the procession or if they had just invited themselves into it. At the end, was Father Mike and Bishop Phimphisan. It was kind of neat to see the acculturation of the Thai ways meet with the Catholic Christian faith. The procession in a lot of ways resembled the two parades we had seen which were used to honor Buddha or the royal family.

Mass was beautiful. Although it was in Thai and we didn't understand anything, it was still wonderful to see. Outside of the church the children were eating ice creams and drinking soda (things they clearly didn't get often in the orphanage.) The politicians who were there to drum up votes were drinking beers. It was obvious that many had come for the party more than the mass. But, it was still great to see this little village gathered together. During the offertory, people left their places in the pews to bring up offerings of money trees, fruit, water, candles, soda, and even a bottle of Thai whisky along with the hosts and wine. I had heard about this happening in the mission territories but had never seen it. After mass, we were invited to join Father Mike and Bishop Phimphisan at their table for lunch. The amount of food brought to us was completely overwhelming. I was also so impressed with how humble and kind the bishop was. Those who know me, know that I am a huge fan of the last Archbishop of Denver. But, I was very much struck by how different this bishop's mass was from the ones back home. Both beautiful, both with wonderful bishops, but so different from each other! Here is a picture of the food left on the table after we ate.

So, after the mass, we were off to finally spend some time with Dtong. And, I'll save that for another post.

After 6 Weeks in Thailand- Culture Shock!

It's a bird- it's a plane- it's a Thai paint job on a plane!
A truck loaded with cows.

Yesterday we flew from Chiang Mai Thailand to Udon Thani and Nong Khai. Chiang Mai is in the northern part of Thailand and is the 2nd largest city in Thailand after Bangkok. Nong Khai is in the eastern part of the country- across the MeKong River from Laos and is really, really not on the tourist circuit. We have come here to visit the Sarnelli House which is run by an American Redemptorist priest.

Father Mike Shea has been a missionary priest in Thailand for 46 years. Twelve years ago he was approaching retirement and was asked to go to Bangkok to retire in a parish there. Instead, he asked for permission to open up an orphanage to care for the children left behind by AIDS. Now, the Sarnelli House has grown to include 165 kids. Most of the children have not been affected by the disease. Some have been made orphans through poverty, others sold by their parents, or abused. Not only do they care for these children, they see that they are provided for through college or vocational training. Currently, they have been purchasing land and working it to become more self sufficient in their food.

We have known about the Sarnelli House for over 5 years and have been able to support a girl by the name of Dtong. It has been exciting after 5 years of receiving her letters, photos and hand drawn pictures to finally see her face to face. But first- let's get back to yesterday's culture shock.



Even the tuk tuks look different here- this one is a motorcycle with a trailer hitched to it.

We arrived early in the morning and were instantly noticing the heat, the lack of Western faces, and the more rural surroundings. Also, there was no English on signs and very few here seem to speak English. (Very different from Chiang Mai.)

We needed to cross the border into Laos due to some interesting Thai visa laws. We enjoyed all 2.5 minutes we saw of the country. Then it was off to find lunch here. After 5 trips to Asia, 5 weeks in Hanoi, and 6 weeks in Thailand so far, Mark and I were just amazed at the amount of culture shock we were feeling. We have struggled to find food that he and I would eat here, and have thoroughly struggled through the language gaps. The most "Western" food we have seen on a menu was American fried rice. Yesterday, we were asking some tuk-tuk if there was a good Thai restaurant in town. We were told, "Thai food, we no have." Now it makes sense, as the food here in Issan Thailand is very different from the rest of the country.

It is interesting going through this culture shock as a parent also. It's hard to know that we are setting the tone for the kids experience, and also to figure out how to make this all easy on them. Mark did a great job yesterday of hiding the fact that a huge spider was crawling by his feet while he was taking a shower. (So we changed hotels at 7pm to the hotel that costs more than $20/night.) We are now the only Westerners in this hotel. Breakfast this morning was noodles, rice, or fried rice. The staff though is very kind and made us scrambled eggs and hot dogs- the "American" breakfast! As Maria was eating her hot dog she told Mark - in a straight face, "You don't know what you're missing! If you put enough ketchup on this, it hides the taste."

We were supposed to be picked up for mass this morning at 9:30. While still eating breakfast at 8:30, our ride showed up! And we didn't even know how to talk about the miscommunication. What a way to start day two of our time here!


This woman's shirt reads, "Por- All experiences Road only of me." Our thoughts exactly!